I’ve seen girls do stupid stuff but I don’t think they can hold a candle to the level guys can take stupid to. It’s to the point that I’m periodically embarrassed by my gender. I wish we’d quit but I don’t think it’s in the DNA. Over the weekend Jeff told me about a new level we’ve gone to.
Jeff’s roommate had gone a friend’s house few nights before with a couple of other guys and there was some drinking involved. (I’ll say here that alcohol isn’t necessary for guys to do stupid stuff but sometimes it helps us get over the threshold.) The friend (I’ll call him Barney) had his dog’s shock collar lying on a counter. One of the visitors asked how well it worked and Barney decided to demonstrate it for him. Barney put the collar on, strapped it in place and handed the visitor the remote.
“Go ahead,” Barney said. “Push the button. I can handle it.” The friend pushed the button on the remote. Nothing happened. They checked the remote and the collar. Both were in the off position. They flicked the switches on and tried again. Again nothing happened.
“Damn,” Barney said. “The thing doesn’t work.” And Barney got shocked. It turned out Barney wasn’t wearing the shock training collar but the shocking bark collar and “work” sounded enough like “woof” that the collar shocked him.
It could have ended there but when it shocked him Barney yelled “AAAHHH!” and the collar shocked him again, To which Barney yelled “AAAHHH! again. This set up a pattern of Shock – “AAAHHH! – Shock – AAAHHH! that went on for about a minute before Barney passed out.
The friends got the collar off before Barney came to, made sure they were switched off and put them away. Barney, when he woke up, decided that after such a harrowing experience, he should calm his nerves with another drink.
Barney probably won’t make the Guiness Book for stupid things done but he should be in the runner-up category.
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